surprise.

There's a common theme in my posts. Whiny love blah blah blahhh. SORRY. But it's true. The reason I blog about it so much is because it's unknown. I am generally science-brained person. I respect facts and scientific proof but with love there really isn't any. I'm not going to eat my own words and say that love truly exists. Because I don't know. I don't what this love thing is. All of my theories on it are crashing around me. I'm not saying that I'm necessarily in love. I feel like I'd be 100% certain if I was. But maybe it's because I'm afraid that I'll be the only one falling in love. I know he cares about me. I know our relationship works. But I drive myself crazy because I start to myself the opposite. I'm afraid that the distance will make him start to resent me. I'm terrified to rely on someone. I have been independent in everything I do since I was a kid, because I had to be. I'm so scared to get hurt and I think that fear is going to be what hurts me.